"*My sister and I laying in bed, she’s just rambling*
Her: I like listening to people scratch themselves because you can usually find out where they’re scratching.
Her: Do turtles have hands, or just feet? Do they even have feet?
Her: Sometimes I wanna be a guy, but like, a gay guy.
Her: Sometimes I just think about how weird teeth are.
Her: Actually humans are pretty weird in general. I wish we had more fur.
Me: what the fuck are you talking about??"

Boyfriend story, his name is Christian, and when he was young he gave himself the nickname “Christ”.

Instead of say “Goddammit” my little sister says “Satan bless it”. This was all fine, until she said it after she tripped getting out of a pew at church.

People say that English is one of the hardest languages to learn, yet most people on this website know it. Congratulations guys, I’m proud of you.

"The gods envy us. They envy us because we’re mortal, because any moment may be our last. Everything is more beautiful because we’re doomed. You will never be lovelier than you are now. We will never be here again."
- Homer, The Iliad

I was on my dash, and the GIFs were froze as this …

I find it so stupid that we shame people for having sex and also shame people for not having sex.
And then when people who do have sex get pregnant, we shame them for having the baby and getting an abortion.
Like what???????? Make up your mind you piece of shit!

When people make fun of other people for what they enjoy:
Go to Hell. Go directly to Hell. Do not pass go, do not collect $200.